So I made cookie brownies today to ship to my son tomorrow. Look how one of them came out. Can you see it? Even my Brownie Loves my boy.
If you have some time, pour yourself a cup of tea or coffee, get comfortable and enjoy my blog. It might be fun, and if you can please feel free to leave a comment, I really appreciate your thoughts. Also make sure you check out some of the blogs I follow. Truly inspiring.
(Photos above are courtesy of Pinterest)
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
On Saturday morning we moved my youngest son into his college campus dorm. Above were all his things except for the striped bag that was mine. (The things behind the cardboard box are not his)I have to say I thought we packed pretty compact. I did see a few girls who had cartloads filled with things.
I am having alot of trouble I have to be honest. Although this is not my first son who went to college, he is the first one to go away. My oldest commuted to his school only 45 minutes away and lived at home. Matthew is our baby and he is my last one. As some of you know my oldest Tim, will be getting married on October 11 of this year, exactly 55 days from now, so needless to say I am feeling the anxiety of being away from both my sons.
So we left part of my heart almost 700 miles away. My husband and I drove home feeling like we had lost something. I won't sugarcoat it. It was one of the hardest things we have ever done or experienced. And yes I understand that every parent experiences this and I can't imagine what our military parents go through to know that their beloved son's are being deployed to placed like afghanistan. I am trying to put it all into perspective and be thankful that he is safe and just attending college like millions of eighteen year olds do every year. But I can't seem to stop crying. So I wanted to do a post to mark this moment, my feelings and thoughts. My husband surprises me every Christmas with a gift of having my blog put into book form. I already have 5 volumes. (Crazy huh) And even though I know that one of the boxes I open on Christmas morning will be my next volume to my blog, it still warms my heart that my husband never forgets and has them done for me. I had told him that I wanted them for my son's so that when I'm gone they will have a collection of my thoughts, posts, important moments, great buys, (hee hee) projects, anything and everything I ever thought worth bloggin about. They will see that I valued the little things, I valued the moments and that through it, through these volumes of humorous, whimsical, instructional, emotional posts, I will still be present in their lives. They will say, "wow, mom posted about your birthday, or look remember that chair dad hated that mom bought at that antique place, or hey I didn't know she wrote about when I went to college or my first job, or wedding." Etc.
So for this post, for some day when Matt comes across the volume that includes a post about late August 2014, he will see that his mother wrote:
This week I said goodbye to my youngest son. My husband and I drove ten hours to take him and ten hours back home. It was the most exciting trip and the most heart wrenching trip for us because although we could not be more proud of our boy, we were still leaving a part of our hearts so far away from home. And no class or book or lecture or orientation meeting will ever prepare you for the pain a parent feels as you hug your son and drive away trying not to look back.
It know it will take some time to get accustomed to:
an empty room
a quiet house
an endless aching in my chest everytime I think of his face
a smaller list of groceries
So in the meantime I will hold on to dates in my head. Dates when I visit him and dates when my boy will be returning home. And until then I will save each text, smell his pillow at least once a day, look at his photos on my phone and pray for him that he may be happy and be blessed.
I love my boy. I love him forever.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Monday, August 11, 2014
Ikea had these wonderful dishtowels for 3.99 each roll. I didn't realize until I got home that there were three different ones in each pack. Wooo Hooo! I love them.
Here's one on my new farmhouse sink.
The countertop and sink were put in today, faucet tomorrow. Stay tuned for the big reveal tomorrow.
Can't wait to show you!
I found this lovely little bag at a sweet little shop. I love the blue and white stripes. Summer just screams blue and white doesn't it?
Monday, August 4, 2014
On Saturday was my son's and his fiancee's Wedding Couple's Shower. We woke to a menacing sky and worries of a storm. Well as the day progressed the sky began to clear and as I said my prayers, made my promises and crossed my fingers, even my toes, the sun came out.
Here are a few photos before the guests arrived.
And I made Raspberry Jam as a favor to take home.
Friday, August 1, 2014
Not one Hydrangea! Not a single one.
So I had shared with my blogging friends about having my Hydrangeas trimmed in the fall and how that had been a big mistake. My son gets married at home in 71 days and I had been hoping for autumn hydrangeas in their lovely sagey hues to adorn many tables and arrangements.
For years my porch had been adorned with lovely heads of the poping flowers that seemed to want to peek over the porch railing. One year I stopped counting at 130 something. There were too many to keep track of.
As I walk around the perimeter of my home looking at those gigantic green leaves bare with no flowers to gaze at, I remain unaffected. Normally I would be preoccupied with the fact that my garden lacked blooms but these days there are other things that occupy my mind.
In fifteen days my youngest son will be leaving me. He will be entering the University of Tennessee and embarking on the greatest four years of a young adults life.
I find myself lost in thought. Preoccupied with lists and what is missing?
What does he need? Did I get everything? What could he possibly be leaving here that he will regret not taking.
I roam aimlessly through supermarkets, pharmacy's, and department stores with a semi empty cart tossing a few things here and there without vision or ability to focus.
When did this all happen? How did I get here so fast?
I have trouble finishing sentences on the phone when I am asked about college and the days ahead because the emotions overwhelm me.
There is a constant heaviness in my throat and a feeling I can't express without my tears falling uncontrollably down my face.
Tomorrow is the wedding shower for my oldest son and his beautiful fiancee and as I rush through making jam, figuring out what to wear, visits to the inlaws to help with preparation for tomorrow as the rain continues to pour, I keep looking for things. I search in my bag or walk around room by room not exactly knowing what I'm searching for but realizing that I will never truly find it.
What I'm lookin for is time and where it has gone, or desperately searching for an excuse, or an item to fill the void inside of me that I can not articulate.
At the same time I am excited and happy for my son and I know he will do well at the university because it is the perfect fit. It will challenge him and embrace him. I am happy and excited for my oldest because I know he is marrying his soulmate and the best girl I could have ever dreamed of having for a daugher in law. But I continue to feel like something is missing.
So I walk around looking for any hidden hydrangeas. None to be found. I watch my sons as they walk around the house laughing and engaged in conversation and I try really hard to memorize their faces, to take a mental photograph of the moment and to hold on to these final days.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
I sit on my porch every evening with my dogs. It's where I unwind and relax. My dogs take turns sitting with me on my swing. I have been wanting to get another place for others that join me or for my doggies to sit as well. I found the lovely wicker settee at Pier 1. They are currently having an outdoor furniture sale and I got it on sale. I purchased a green cushion because it was the only one they had. I wanted white. I figured I would just cover it anyway.
I love love love Rachel Ashwell Shabby Chic line. But her fabrics are 40 dollars a yard. I am in love with all her faded floral prints that are so beautiful and so comforting for the home.
So since I didn't want to spend 120 dollars on three yards to redo my settee I bought a full size sheet set from Rachel Ashwell's Shabby chic line from Target. So for under 30 dollars I was able to do this and still have fabric left over.
Now I sew them using my sewing machine but I want to assure you that I am not a seamstress. I know one stitch and know how to thread a sewing machine, that is all. I can sew a hem or make a table cloth or pillow but that's all.
I was very happy with the end result. Now I would not let Martha Stewart stand over me as I am sewing because I guarantee she would faint at the sight.
Okay so imagine cutting a square of folded fabric beneath the pillow leaving an inch all around.
Then turning the fabric square inside out and making sure all corners and sides are touching. Then sew three sides just with a straight stitch leaving one side open. Then flip the fabric from inside out to the way the pillow will look. Then insert your pillow and then take the side that is not sewn and folding both sides and having them join, sew that side closed.
That's All Folks!