This is one of 4 Christmas photos that I have from my childhood. For some odd reason there are no photos around Christmas time. I think of how I cherish my camera and every camera I have ever had. How I have album after album created each year, even now that my two sons are 22 and about to turn 17, I still make a Christmas album so that long after I am gone they will see and know that I cherished Christmas and them most of all.
I love how my family tree is overloaded with heavy garland and the shiny satiny balls are placed rather recklessly. Can you believe we had a leopard couch? Oh yes, my mom was a diva at heart.
That statue on the far right above the huge TV, (Now that's what I call High Definition) I love that statue and have it in my upstairs hallway on a table. I pray I always have it. It's a mother and daughter. My uncle gave it to my mom and she gave it to me. She always said it was us.
The photo was dated 1972 so I was 7 years old. That was my cat Kelly. I love that I look so happy.
Some days I long for it to be the 70's again, to be a child without worries and to rest in the security that if there was a problem, my parents would take care of it.
I was thinking back about my past Christmas Lists when I was growing up. I only remember one time asking for a telescope. I really don't know why, perhaps I wanted to gaze at the stars. I have always been a dreamer. I was not one of those kids that had 12 things on their list. We were not wealthy and lived simply. I never remember lacking for anything. My dad always provided for us. Our refrigerator was always stocked with the basic necessities. I never lacked for a good pair of shoes and he even put me through Catholic school all through high school. I always remember feeling blessed and never upset about not having something. We lived in an apartment building until three weeks before I got married. But there was one thing I secretly wanted but never ever told my parents. Perhaps that was why my list always had one or two simple things, because deep down inside, what I truly wanted I knew I could never write it down.
I secretly wanted a house. Not a huge house, or fancy one, but one thing I knew, it had to have a fireplace.
After watching countless Christmas movies or specials where the families sat around the fireplace drinking egg nog and singing carols, I dreamed of having one. I used to cut pictures of fireplaces with Santa peeking from beneath. Now my parents always told me that Santa could come in through the incinerator. It wasn't till I got older that I actually understood what an incinerator was and the impossibility following that theory. Although that never stopped me from loosing faith in Santa.
I have felt so much sadness these past two weeks. I know we all have. The unexpected death of a friend, Jessie, the terrible shooting in Connecticut, my mom's declining state of mind. I love love love Christmas, but it's been difficult with so much around us bringing us pain to get into the spirit.
But life is full of moments that are both filled with joy and sadness. We need to focus on our blessings through them both. So I decided to make my Christmas List. I hope this inspires you to make yours.
My Christmas List
I want patience, more of it. I don't have enough.
I want to leave my worries behind. Literally. Worry less.
I want my mom to find peace within.
I want to be a positive presence in all that I may encounter along my journey.
I want to feel God's presence at all times.
I want health for my sons and pure joy in their lives.
I want the parents of the children that have passed to find the strength to continue and that in time they may find peace in the depth of their pain and then they may be able to move on knowing that their children are safe in the loving hands of the father experiencing peace and the joy of heaven.
I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas.