8.21.2013

Letting Go. . .

Okay don't get excited.  This is all anyone would ever see of me in any sort of bathing suit.  My husband took this photo and I had no idea.  But there was something about it that I liked.  I couldn't figure it out until tonight and so I decided to use it in my blog post.
Not only am I wearing my fav beach top, but I have my fav hat and I'm on my fav beach, but that's still not why.  I love this pic because I look like, for at least just a moment, like I am feeling peace.
Peace is so important for ones sanity.  Caretakers who deal with someone with dimentia or alzheimers or any form of mental illness rarely have moments like this one.  Mine are few and far between.  I like to think that I was truly relaxed and at peace and that's why I love this photo.  
This is a strange week for me.  My son got engaged last night and I could not be more elated.  I love his bride to be and could not ask for a more loving young lady to be my daugher-in-law. (I promised my son I wouldn't post their photo on my blog but I want to so bad, sorry.) My younger son starts his senior year on Monday and that for me signals the end of the Summer even if it's not official.
I've never been one of those mom's who count the days for their kids to return to school.  I've always dreaded it. But these days I dread it even more, because my days will be spent with my mom full time and her mental health is terrible.  Atleast when my son is around I have a distraction.  So I am trying to hold on to moments, moments on my porch swing, moments walking on the beach with the sand at my feet, sitting outside and feeling the warm sun on my legs.  
Autumn's arrival, although I enjoy things about it,  makes me melancholy because of my love for the summer.
So I must let go now. . . 
let go of the moments where I felt care free on the beach until next year
moments in shorts and flipflops sitting on my deck and porch
having my son around most of the day 
spending a week long period with my husband around 
so I need to dig deep and find the strength to accept the change and face what's to come 
I will focus on happier things to come, like my son's wedding next year (possibly late summer )
or my furniture coming in September for my bedroom
or Mary Carol Garrity's new book in October
Hey, whatever it takes to keep me motivated right?  
Enjoy these last few days and most of all. . . 
find your moments,
your moments of peace.
xoxo
Lee

4 comments :

Julie said...

My mother passed away in April from Alzheimer's. it is a disease that drains the caregivers. I feel for you and pray that in the coming days you may find a few minutes of peace. Congratulations on your son's engagement. Having something good to look forward to may help on those difficult days with your Mom.

Julie said...

My mother passed away in April from Alzheimer's. it is a disease that drains the caregivers. I feel for you and pray that in the coming days you may find a few minutes of peace. Congratulations on your son's engagement. Having something good to look forward to may help on those difficult days with your Mom.

Brenda said...

This is a beautiful photograph. I wish you had more moments of peace, but you are very loving to care for your mom in her condition. Hopefully you can get relief by having respite care. You must take care of yourself so you can take care of others.

Best wishes to your son on his engagement.

Lynda @ Happenstance Home said...

Congrats on the engagement in your family. So blessed to have a welcome new addition to your family. Best wishes to you on caring for your mom - hopefully you can find more peaceful moments even after Summer has passed. That is a great photo. My boys started back at school, and my oldest drives them now so it's so strange for me. Always adjustments!

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