An End Before A New Beginning

As I watched and listened to my son singing at the Baccalaureate mass I was so filled with emotions. One minute I was crying and at the next I was smiling like an idiot.  
And all the while all that came to my head was this:
Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine

Little one when you play
Don't you mind what they say
Let those eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine

If they knew sweet little you
They'd end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give just for

The right to hold you
From your head to your toes
You're so sweet, goodness knows
You are so precious to me
Sweet as can be, baby of mine

For those mothers out there I am sure you are familiar with Baby mine the song from the Disney movie Dumbo.  When my babies were little I would rock them and hum this song or sing it in a whisper as their eyelids became heavy.  It feels like only yesterday when I would rock them endlessly to go to sleep.  For some reason my boys never wanted to go to sleep.  We like to think they were just having too much fun.  

So now, these are my two babies.  Too big to rock to sleep.  Tim turned 24 today and Matthew graduated form High School about to move to Tennessee.

There are few words to say, emotions are overwhelming.   As much as husbands try to understand our emotional attachment it is something that is even hard to explain for mothers.  How do I explain why it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest every time I think of the day when I will be separated from my boys?  Perhaps it is because a mother is physically connected to her child.  We shared the same umbilical cord and they lived in my stomach for a little over 9 months.  (Both my sons were two weeks late)
But as hard as it may be, it is part of the journey, part of a bigger plan.  I am so proud of both my sons.
So as I look at these photos (I had keratin done and it stripped my color and made it look orange, ugh, gonna dye it back to normal tomorrow, also can't get my bangs to blow out right. ) I think of that baby boy in my lap fighting sleep, listening to the sound of my humming . . .
"Baby mine, don't you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart, never to part,
Baby of mine.


Unknown said...

I know this will be such a happy and hard time. Such handsome boys, and you are just stunning! At first I thought you were one of your son's friends. Best Wishes to you on this new phase.

Lynda @ Happenstance Home said...

Sorry - that was my comment above. Guess I didn't log in :)

Dori at The Red Feedsack said...

Lisa, this was a lovely post. It is so hard to see our children grow up and leave the nest. I never cried so long and so hard as I did when my daughter left home. But the reward of seeing them be responsible adults is sure a wonderful feeling. I loved the picture of you and your son. It's darling. - Dori -

White Lace and Promises said...

You look like his sister! Where is he moving to in TN. My kids live in Nashville.

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