When the Christmas Season begins, one of my passions is always to decorate and find lovely ways to make my trees and home look festive and beautiful. I guess I learned that from my mother. Maybe not to the extent that I do it today, after all that time was a simpler time when I was growing up. We had one fake tree that really looked fake and we would layer it with the heaviest of tacky tinsel and garland that we could find. It looked glorious to me growing up. My mother was very creative and loved to make anything pretty. We didn't have much money and our apartment was not glamorous but she just had such a special way.
This will be my second Christmas without my mother. I can't even write this post without feeling the ache in my chest that nothing will ever soothe it.
I miss her so terribly I can't even begin to write how much.
But especially now during Christmas. My mom was my helper, assistant and aide when it came to decorating my home for the holidays. Although she couldn't climb on things or help me hang or do big things, she would sit patiently by me for hours and put hooks on balls or hand me things while we listened to christmas music.
Her biggest contribution was the idea of crystals on my trees. I had bought these inexpensive crystals one year and she gave me the idea of putting them on the trees. Year after year this became our custom. When the strings broke on them she would replace them, and she suggested to use green string because it hid nicely on the tree branches. As you can see below, every single green string was placed on and threaded by her with her hands.
Everytime I open the box I am overwhelmed with joy and sadness at my mothers gift to me, her love and kindness to do something as tedious as that. The tiny holes in the crystals are so small my eyes can't see them and I'm 51 she was in her late 80's. At times she'd say, " I'm going to rest my eyes for a bit and then continue." I can't begin to write about how she was such a wonderful mother to me, despite the end with her illness and eventually the point of where she no longer recognized me or new who I was. The other night I had not seen the box as I was decorating for the house tour and I was thinking and saying in my head, mom I wish you were here with me. How lonely I feel without you by my side. Moments later, I opened a bin and there was the box with my mother's crystals.
Here is one of my trees adorned with hundreds of crystals. Her touch even after she is no longer present. But she is, through the crystals on my tree.